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Joke of the Day
"Me: Babe will you love me when I'm old & fat. Wife: I sure do."
Next Joke
"What you're feeling, Republicans, is the ghost of Ted Kennedy's nuts on your chin."
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey!"
"What's the difference between a fairy tale and a war story? Nothing, except fairy tales start off with ""Once upon a time"", and war stories start off with ""No shit, this really happened""."
"""I NEVER have enough pockets to carry all my awesome cargo!"" - revolutionary shorts designer."
"If you and I are still single in 200 years let's agree to haunt a Burger King as a singular entity."
"The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him"
"My 4 year old refused his dinner but it's ok because I caught him eating a Milkbone earlier"
"What religion still believes in the Big Bang? [x-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis] Islam"
"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK? One got his head blown off while the other got assasinated."