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Joke of the Day

"Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe."

"Ever notice when you need to delete a phone app and you get the icons jiggling? They seem all panicky about who's getting cut from the team"

"Your momma is so stupid... She thought tinder was a cooking show to make chicken."

"I've been to the dentist a couple of times So I know the drill."

"Yes I get laid because I'm an illusionist. But I don't use ""magic"" or ""tricks"" on women. They respect my skills & choose to make love with m"

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!"

"What is Littlefinger's favorite castle in all of Westeros? Haremhal"

"Ugly Joke You're so ugly that you make ropes hang them self so they dont have to look at you"

"Alarming new research into the growing sleep epidemic Over 99% of people are now addicted to sleep, admitting they engage in sleep at least twice a week, most say they couldn't live without it"

"[sex ed in middle school] Teacher: ""Today we are having sex ed"" Ed: hell yeah we are! Teacher: ""Education"""