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Joke of the Day
"What did the nucleus say to get the electron up? Up and atom!"
Next Joke
"Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT. Me: *walks downstairs* where the hell is my toaster and microwave?"
"What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield? It's rear end!"
"Why did the 3 year old go to jail? For resisting a rest."
"Me (to 7): Son, we... Wife (in earpiece): have to talk M: Have to talk W: about girls M: About grills W: NO M: NO W: IDIOT M: IDIOT"
"Isn't swallowing semen technically canibalism? I don't know, I just do it for the taste..."
"What does it mean when your home is listed as a distribution center on the Keebler website?"
"Abusing a word, done correctly I have eye opening experiences every day, quite literally."
"People that cut others off while talking should go to jail. But only serve half their sentence."
"Life stops when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, love ends when you stop caring, friendship ends when you stop sharing."