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Joke of the Day

"Is your refrigerator running? You probably didn't notice because you were too busy looking for reposts"

"What do you call a party organized by a bunch of midgets? A little get together"

"1985: call me on the new line in my room 2000: call me on my mobile flip phone 2015: don't call me"

"Do you like fishsticks? yeah? LIKE IN THE MOUTH? THEN YOU'RE A GAY FISH"

"A guy walks into a bar... his face gets bruised, his phone shatters on the concrete, and the Pokemon gets away."

"Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?"

"My wife said I'm not manly I told her she hurt my feelings and I'm going to go cry in a corner."

"Wall, you may have ears but you're pretty useless without a mouth and eyes, aren't you? Wall?"

"That moment when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realize she just lost an earring... and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod."

"My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas."