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Joke of the Day

"My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas."

"*mops up wine with cat*"

"Remember when... ... the General Motors jobs were in Flint, and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico. And now..."

"Boy To Girl Boy : You are the most funniest & most beautiful girl I've ever met. Girl : You just want to screw me , Don't you ? Boy : Wow ! and smart too ... !"

"The greatest joke of all: Your sex life."

"""How old is your girlfriend?"" ""She's52"" ""Haha, dude, she could be your mom!"" ""Yeah, actually it's yours"""

"Whenever I fondle breasts, they fall off. It's true, I fell tit with my own hand."

"Cute skinny girls wearing weird mismatched clothes: hot quirky hipsters Me wearing weird mismatched clothes: homeless lady from the 80s"

"Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing? In case you get a hole in one."

"What do you call a chicken coup with more than two doors? A chicken sedan."