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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and not talking."

"I like the way baseball players pick up each other's bats after they cross home plate. More sports courtesy, please."

"Black Betty An African lady named Betty came into a restaurant and asked the server, ""Is there any chicken on the menu?"" The server replied, ""No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."""

"You know, I haven't always been liberal You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history."

"I'm like Pac-Man because I travel in the dark to Dippin' Dots stands to eat them, all while getting chased by members of the Ku Klux Klan."

"Me: this is bullshit. conditioner and shampoo in one? impossible Walmart employee who I have in a headlock: sir I didn't make the shampoo"

"""Sir, is this gluten free?"" The waiter nods happily ""Great,"" I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, ""I'm building a gluten fort!"""

"I told my wife, ""no man should spend more time washing dishes than he does having sex!"" Our new dishwashing service is great."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of."

"What do you call a pissed off german? Sauerkraut"