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Joke of the Day
"I shoot cans... Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, and Africans."
Next Joke
"remember swine flu??? retweet if you're a true 2009 kid"
"The butcher's wife always messes up everyone's order. We call her Miss Steak."
"Sometimes it's fun to pretend that all old people are part of a 'who can take the most steps over the shortest distance' contest"
"[NSFW] How do you keep a woman screaming hours after having sex Finish on the curtains"
"Jared likes his women like he likes his sandwiches 6 and 12"
"Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*"
"BELLHOP: May I take care of your bags? ME: Of course! BELLHOP: [gently applies seven layers of concealer under my eyes]"
"Think Casey Anthony will go into porn now, . . . Since she gets off so easy?"
"There are two types of countries in the world.... Those who use the metric system, and those who have a successful space program."