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Joke of the Day

"The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that's not a risk I'm willing to take."

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the trick is finding two people small enough to fit IN the lightbulb..."

"Today, my friend's coworker made a bukkake joke at a meeting and got away with it. I guess they're covered."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? it was too tired!"

"What's grosser than gross? 2 eels screwing in a bucket of snot."

"Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing."

"One day a wife complained ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied ""The darn clock always was slow."""

"Instead of washing your hands after going to the toilet Just give your cock a good clean in the morning. Badly remembered Jimmy Carr joke."

"Dog for sale Eats everything. Loves kids."

"One liner I thought of and giggled at the other day A wise man once said, ""Love is all you need. And Kevlar."" I made up that last part."