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Joke of the Day

"Talking with your girlfriend is just like software installation EULA you just scroll down waiting for it to finish and agree without understanding what it says"

"Fridge My fridge has been acting weird, I guess it's bi-polar."

"What do you get when you cross and owl and a bungie cord? . . . . . . . . . . ...My ass"

"Whenever a contestant on America's Got Talent was insulted by Piers Morgan, they were judged by a jury of Piers."

"If I consider you a friend, I'll be there for you. With an ear, a shoulder, a drill, a shovel, an alibi - whatever you need to feel better."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts..."

"Stay safe out there on New Years Eve Who am I kidding, I'm talking to Redditors."

"What do you call an impotent lizard? A reptile dysfunction"

"What's Up Doc? by Howie Dewin"

"Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand."