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Joke of the Day

"[makes eye contact with someone through crack in bathroom stall] hey"

"*walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, you go get it"

"Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as ""man surprised his credit card was declined"""

"The more vital your research, the less people will understand it."

"I accidentally sent everyone in my address book a naked picture of myself It cost a fortune in stamps"

"When Dennis Thatcher had sex with Margaret Thatcher he called it pumping iron."

"What do you call a girl who hunts owls? A hooters shooter girl"

"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then"

"Raspberry buy guitar Raspberry take lessons Raspberry answer ad Raspberry show up at drummer's house Raspberry plug in Raspberry Jam"