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Joke of the Day

"What kind of doctors do elephants become? Pachydermatologists"

"When I was in Paris, I got up early to get some food. They had this huge mushroom buffet. Portabella, shiitake; Breakfast of champignons"

"It's interesting how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."

"My daughter said, ""You're the best mommy ever!"" I'm really proud that she's learning sarcasm at such a young age."

"Why do people never eat clocks?.... Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... It could happen."

"*repeatedly tries to explain Sisyphus to classmates who have apparently never heard of him* I wish you guys could get how ironic this is."

"[travels back in time] [accidentally kills Baby Charlie Chaplin]"

"What does Reddit and fat people have in common? A LOT of people don't like them right now"

"Did you hear about the man with no penis? He went home and gave his wife a right bollocking."