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Joke of the Day

"That ""dammit"" moment when you forget to take your phone to the toilet so you just sit there like ""Now what do I do...?"""

"Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest escaped with minor injuries. (Something my grandfather told me when I was five)"

"What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus? A lickalottapus."

"What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes? Social netwerking"

"i won a latin grammy but i have no idea what to feed her and she's getting frustrated by the language barrier"

"What did the necrophile say to his ex-girlfriend? ""I only loved you for your body!"""

"A skeleton walks into a bar.. Something something beer and mop.."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting injected with tetanus."

"Was Hitler's favorite number 8? NEIN NEIN NEIN!"

"Girl: Got this dress 20% off. Me:Come over to my house and get it 100% off."