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Joke of the Day

"what do you call two crows sitting on a fence? attempted murder"

"If anyone breaks in, I take comfort in knowing they'll never get past the 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway."

"I had a job interview today, the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. Luckily, I have 2020 vision."

"What do you get when you cross a JOKE with a RHETORICAL QUESTION?"

"This is my best knock-knock joke *""Knock Knock""* ""Who's there"" *""Whoo""* ""Whoo-hoo"" *""Happy to see me?""*"

"What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!"

"I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. She keeps screaming some other guy's name when we have sex. Let's just hope I never come across this guy ""rape"" in a dark alley."

"NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike [boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself] PATIENT: *Opens one eye*"

"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."

"What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man? Leave a plunger in the toilet!"