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Joke of the Day

"My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, ""Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"""

"Customer: ""Do you sell a 'best of' Enya album here?"" Cashier: ""What do you want - a blank CD?"""

"I hate tacos. Said no Juan ever."

"I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they're embarrassing the family."

"So Nickelback walks into a bar... [xpost from r/funny] There's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny."

"Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you"

"Nobody expects you to tweet brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family."

"Cows should really stop putting ""delicious"" on their resumes."

"Q: What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker? A: My pop is bigger than your pop."

"apparently math tests aren't like pregnancy tests and peeing on them IS FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT."