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Joke of the Day

"In titanic Jack could of lived..... But Rose just like taking more wood than she should"

"Oh heres a good joke my life"

"Boss:Why is your voice gone? Are you ok? Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's ""Dangerous Woman""* I'm ok...allergies are bad."

"Kissing 101: 1. Open your mouth 2. Wider, that's it. 3. Stick out your tongue 4. Then walk towards her and pray she doesn't run away."

"The lights at JayZ's house weren't working, so he called me to fix it. Now he's got 99 problems but the switch ain't one."

"Maybe if we press ""2"" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the ""1"" line."

"What did the Jewish man do when he got a dog? Posted fliers around the neighborhood that said ""Not Lost Yet""."

"What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ? A wedding ring !"

"I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder."

"The coffee in my cup is rippling. With all my experiences in the past this means that a dinosaur is coming my way.....Shit."