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Joke of the Day
"My friend just graduated from her ballet course in university. She got a (2:2)"
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"[interviewer looks up from resume] in the skills, you wrote ""completing sentences? Yes."" wow. you ""'re hired?"" amaz- ""on prime?"" get out."
"What did Mr T say when asked if he had any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool."
"Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones."
"Him: Hi Me: I bet you say that to all the girls"
"Soon after we find out Bruce Jenner wants to be a woman, he gets into a car wreck Really getting into character I see"
"Sea Shells Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because the D shells are to big."
"Gym bro #1: ""Bro, we're out of protein powder."" Gym bro #2: ""No whey..."""
"Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants"
"What would a reddit restaurant be called? Chooters"