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Joke of the Day

"What did Mr T say when asked if he had any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool."

"What sentence did the man who took 2 minutes to turn around get? Man*slowturn*."

"*feels painful possible cavity* *eats chocolate to feel better*"

"How do you now when somebody is retarded on Facebook? Well, its complicated."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... It feels great, until you look down and realize you're gay."

"*pretends to get electrocuted when I shake your dad's hand for the first time*"

"Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life."

"I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children."

"Why did the bicycle fall down? because it was two-tired."

"Still wondering if that guy I saw yesterday wearing a t-shirt in the pool was fat or not. So hard to tell!"