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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me... ""You better be still holding that ladder"""

"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"

"If life was a video game it would be created by EA Because you have to pay real money inside the game."

"What do you call the child of two parents with downs syndrome? A hand-me-down."

"How much rest does a bad Sheppard get? Not a ton, he has a lot of sheepless nights."

"Santa hates penguins True fact. Santa hates penguins. In truth, they are polar opposites."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

"I'm such a cougar magnet. And I'm not talking about middle aged women either, I'm talking about REAL FUCKING COUGARS!"

"How do Freudians describe the human mind? As a huge ENEMA, I mean huge enigma....."

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? Ya think it's the R, but it be the C!"