211980

Joke of the Day

"If life was a video game it would be created by EA Because you have to pay real money inside the game."

"Don't ""psh"" me, Coca Cola I just opened."

"It's ironic that pregnant people have to order virgin drinks."

"Does grape jelly go bad or do I just have wine jelly now?"

"If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."

"Who called it a ""backpack"" and not, ""the sexiest way to deliver bees to an ex."""

"'welcome to subway how can i-' ME:*punches counter*WHY DOES THE KOOL-AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL-AID 'sir-' M: IS IT HIS PISS"

"Sometimes you need a little distance to see things clearly, but other times it is obviously a bear and you should probably just run"

"Girl wins a watch ""Mom, the old man down the street told me that if I sucked his dick he'd give me THIS WATCH!"""

"I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once."