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Joke of the Day

"Waiter I can't eat this meat it's crawling with maggots ! Quick run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by !"

"On the 5th day of Christmas? Christmas is ONE day, Carol. Convert to Judaism if you need a longer holiday."

"I'm no different than the average working guy. I have two arms, two legs and 4.2 billion dollars. ~ Donald Trump"

"That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died."

"What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? ...nothing."

"A young boy came up to his mother crying, when his mother asked him what was wrong, He said, ""I went to Jared"""

"A man walks up to the counter at the airport. ""Can I help you?"" asks the agent. ""I want a round trip ticket"" says the man. ""Where to?"" asks the agent. ""Right back to here."""

"Kim Jong Un ""When I said nuke the Chinese, I meant microwave the takeout from yesterday!"""

"What's the difference between strange jizz and you? Your mother doesn't love you."

"What's the difference between a $20 prostitute and a $200 prostitute? When the $20 one swallows, it's because she's hungry."