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Joke of the Day

"How do you have nasal sex? Fuck knows"

"If you are ever cold. If you are ever cold, go to a corner. It's usually 90 degrees."

"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer."

"My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore."

"Some girls are like community colleges... Even if you're not the smartest guy, you probably still get in."

"Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick."

"Dot [limerick] There once was a woman named Dot, who lived off of pig-shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese, that grew on the sides of her twat."

"So Goldilocks is casing the bears' house, figuring she can heist their stash of crystal meth, when all of a sudden ... . . . Andrew Dice Clay sticks his head in the door and says ..."

"My new years resolutions are: 1: Stop making lists. B: Be more consistent. 7: Learn to count."

"If you named your kid Hunter because you like to hunt, then I hate you. Who names a kid after an activity?. *Storms off w/ his son, Kegger"