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Joke of the Day

"A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says ""Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!"" ""Son you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."""

Next Joke
 
"A guy using Apple Maps walks into a bar... or maybe a hospital... possibly a church."
"Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day."
"I never buy Velcro It's such a rip off."
"How do you say brassiere in German? Keepemfromfloppin"
"How does a black women know she's pregnant? When she pulls put her tampon the cotton I'd already picked"
"I'm not gay I've just got an alternative sexuality."
"I lost two things today. My virginity.. ..and my job at the morgue."
"I downloaded ""ambient coffee shop"" track. Just low talking, dish clanking, & one lady yelling ""Finn. Look at mommy. FINN. You want a scone?"""
"Yo momma so ugly .. Her portraits hang themselves"