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Joke of the Day

"So I had sex with this Asian girl the other day... She didn't speak much English, but I think she liked it. She kept on screaming ""Wong Ho! Wong Ho!"""

"What does Trumps Hair and a Thong have in common..? They both barely cover the asshole."

"What did little Paul Bunyan say when his mom asked him how he damaged his favorite toy? It was an ax-I-dent."

"Woman hit by train Whats a train doing in a kitchen? (Sexist but creative, not meant to offend anyone.)"

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"Tim Tebow is a lot like Mary because they're both virgins. But at least Mary was able to produce."

"Why are men so smart while having sex? Because they are plugged into a fucking know-it-all."

"Hope to get down to a weight where people don't think I have an opinion on movies."

"Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say? Husband: He asked if the coast was clear..."

"The week has seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday."