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Joke of the Day

"I met a deaf gynecologist today.. Apparently, he reads lips. (Obligatory: posted this in /r/dadjokes, thought this sub might like it as well.)"

"Just accidentally threw an 'xo' in a text to a dude. Guess I have to fuck him now."

"My ex girlfriend is like an archaeologist ...always digging up useless shit from the past"

"I like my girls like Han from Star Wars with a hairy Wookie."

"DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength."

"Darth Vader showed up to Luke's party uninvited. Talk about a foe pa."

"It must suck when a billionaire... Wakes up feeling like a million bucks."

"Ever since I swallowed a watch I've been keeping myself busy taking laxitives, eating lots of fruit and drinking prune juice. Anything to pass the time."

"It's pretty sad that even in 2013 chameleons care so much about skin color."

"Millionaire Interview Interviewer : Sir, who helped you on becoming a Millionaire? Millionaire : My wife........ I was a billionaire before."