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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sinking ship from BP's Mexico division? A Pedro leak."

"A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river... The brunette yells across, ""Help me get to the other side of the river!"" The blonde yells back, ""You *are* on the other side of the river!"""

"My ass is a woman tonight It won't shut the fuck up."

"I threw a recyclable item in the trash in case any ladies were looking for a ""badboy"" type."

"What, according to Freud, comes between fear and sex? ...funf."

"At the planetarium with my family. I think my wife was surprised to discover she's not the center of the universe."

"Handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too. 50% off"

"I just found some of my long lost relatives from Alabama on incestry.com"

"I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me."

"Duct Tape is a lot like The Force It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together."