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Joke of the Day

"Handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too. 50% off"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's not a full essay."

"How do you get 300 babies in a bowl? Blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips"

"Italy in the 2014 FIFA world cup What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag? Ones in a cup"

"So if I get the job at Walmart,,, do I pull my own teeth out,, or does it happen during orientation ?"

"Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills."

"Have you heard about the late great actor? ""Wow, he's dead?"" *Actor strolls in* Nope, just never on time."

"twitter has a very ""high school class where the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes"" vibe"

"FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?"

"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"