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Joke of the Day

"I knew my wife was having a bad day when she put her tampon behind her ear and couldn't find her cigarette."

"A 'red list' of endangered species has been released. It includes 'literate people on Facebook' and 'monogamous footballers'."

"This is the test you should take to know if you are a man. Really????"

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face."

"So an atheist pastor, vegan butcher, and the presidential candidate Donald Trump walk into a bar..."

"Day 2 It's been two days since I've been on reddit, hopefully i have the strength to..... GOD DAMNIT!"

"WIFE: Where are the groceries? ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean? *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*"

"Q: What is the best way to speak to a ghoul? A: From a long ways away."

"How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? What suppressive told you to change the light bulb? Report to Ethics immediately!"

"Where is Engagement, Ohio? It's somewhere between Dayton and Marion."