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Joke of the Day

"I knew my wife was having a bad day when she put her tampon behind her ear and couldn't find her cigarette."

"A Muslim started a line of sex toys ... He specializes in blow up dolls."

"Young Actor: Dad guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years. Father: Well keep at it son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part."

"The traffic must be horrendous in a red light district"

"Hi, I'm a college professor. Years ago I wrote a terrible book no one wanted. Anyway you have to buy it for 80 dollars"

"I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal."

"What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader"

"Borrowing Money ""Glad to see you, old man. Can you lend me five dollars ?"" ""Sorry, but I haven't a cent with me today"" ""And at home ?"" ""They're all very well, thank you, very well""."

"People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs."

"Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse I'm thinking about letting her in."