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Joke of the Day

"I think someone just called me a ""beach""... But I can't be shore."

"[dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there"

"I told my boss that I wanted a raise. The boss, like a jackass, replied, ""How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?"" ""About five gallons of gasoline,"" I replied."

"Let's shoot some hoops. I hate those fucking things. Maybe we can play basketball afterwards."

"My wife treats me like an idol she feeds me burnt offerings"

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick."

"Is there a difference between men and women? Yes, there is a vas deferens."

"It's hard to find a good woman . * Smart * Sexy * Single * Sane Pick three"

"Instead of using ""for example"" I'll use things such as ""such as"", for example."

"What did the train on the way to Auschwitz say? JEW JEW! TUGATUGATUGATUGA JEW JEW!"