111974

Joke of the Day

"How can you open a banana? With a monkey!"

"What's a plumber's least favorite type of shoe? Clogs."

"If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone."

"Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades."

"When I die I want to invite my college group mates to my funeral and have them bury me So they can let me down one last time"

"Fishing... It's like sex. The less you get the more you lie."

"If experience has taught me anything, I've forgotten what it was."

"Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets."

"Roadside motels are a good place to stay if you haven't decided yet whether you want to kill someone or be killed."

"My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical."