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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades."

"[Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' ""That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired"" [later googling Sextuple] ""Omg that's genius"""

"All I got for my last birthday was a pack of sticky playing cards. I found it really hard to deal with."

"How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? None. In Russia, light bulb changes you."

"Yes, they're good. But mangoes act like they know they're good, and that's unappealing to me."

"I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs."

"One good thing about premature ejaculation is that porn lasts you a very long time. I bought a video back in 1992 and I still haven't made it past the FBI warning thing."

"Who busted you out of Iraq? Well actually, I-ran"

"How did Hitler like to have his juice in the morning? 100% concentrated."

"Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it"