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Joke of the Day

"Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you."

"How much is a metric fuck-ton? A shitload."

"A Mexican kid passes a note to his friend in class. ""What do you think you're doing?"" the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... ""writing an ese"""

"What could be a good name for a really inappropriate French porno? The Princess and the Frog"

"How does a restaurant make $1 million You start with $2 million!"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a hooker with diarrhea? You shuck the oyster between fits."

"So I was at Ikea the other day and bought a hot dog. The weird thing is, I had to put it together myself. And when I was finished, there were all these parts left over."

"A boob job sounds like the best job in the world."

"She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel."

"What Did the Dog Say to the Chipmunk? Woof."