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Joke of the Day
"I was going to say a necrophilia joke... But it died... So fuck it...."
Next Joke
"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."
"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't walk around Dublin pretending he's Bono"
"Doctor and Patient. Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"Bought the wife some Meatloaf knickers for Xmas. The front says ""I will do anything for love"" On the rear it says ""but I won't do that"""
"If a stranger catches you taking their photo, let them know it's okay by softly saying, ""Don't worry, this is just for me"""
"Why are Canadian Jews so poor? Because there are no pennies to pick up off the ground."
"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""No baby wait, I can change..."""
"What did the man say when he sat on a candle? Fire in the hole!"
"Your momma so fat... Her aides close lanes on the George Washington Bridge"