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Joke of the Day
"I was going to say a necrophilia joke... But it died... So fuck it...."
Next Joke
"How do you make a German cry? Show them their gas bill"
"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... the Welshman's not there because he's still at the Euros."
"I consider myself a dog person I love ass in my face"
"What did the racist ghost say? Wight Power!"
"Did you hear about the vegan cannibal? He only ate quadraplegics. Credit to: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2noeoo/what_bullshit_fact_can_you_come_up_with_that/cmfd0bj for the inspiration"
"Why was 6 scared? Because 7 was a 6 offender."
"A friend bet me I couldn't piss in a Dyson Airblade Boy, did that blow up in my face."
"Some pigs are born with two vaginas. It's true, ask your mom."
"I was in a good mood when suddenly twitter went down & I ran over a blind man, tasered a baby, killed a puppy & set myself on fire."