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Joke of the Day
"I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple Sorry, wrong thread"
Next Joke
"A girl who bullied me in junior high just friended me on Facebook. Her three kids are named after trees. I win."
"Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired."
"Male porn stars are some of the hardest workers."
"Listen, I might be 320 pounds but my doctor says I have the heart of a 20 year old athlete. Thank god he'd signed a donor card."
"And I'll have the KKK omelet All whites."
"What kind of suit does a lawyer like best? The Spanish Inquisition."
"Men: Don't lie to your woman, she'll catch you. Don't tell her the truth, she'll be pissed. Just pray for a brick to fall on your head."
"[NYE] ME: *wearing 2017 glasses* OPTOMETRIST: *rubbing his temples* Stephanie your eyesight may be bad but you really only need one pair"
"I'm a champion of grammar; A grampion, if you will."