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Joke of the Day

"I bet you think it's funny when... I bet you think it's funny when I have a runny nose. It snot."

"I used to find window shopping depressing..... then I visited Amsterdam."

"What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave? Shoplifting"

"Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus."

"I had the dream again, the one where I show up to a standardized test with a no.3 pencil."

"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you."

"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"

"What is Long and narrow and becomes bigger when given a blow ? A balloon."

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."

"Slept with my makeup and now my pillow looks like the shroud of Revlon."