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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: What can I get for you? Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked? M: By anyone other than my wife"

"What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food? a polynomeal"

"My girlfriend was just about to eat my extra long sausage But then I caught the fat bitch"

"It sucks to be a dick.. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"I was trying to come up with a name for my group of mystery-solving chickens Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken."

"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner"

"What do you call a pair of identical twins who are stewardesses? Hostess Twinkies"

"What has wings, but cannot fly. A dead bird."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll hang back with these two"

"According to this white t-shirt, I'm the BP of red wine."