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Joke of the Day

"Met a cute guy at the bar, gave him my number and told him to text me when he got home I guess he's homeless."

"If you're reading this.. then you are not Floyd Mayweather."

"If you couldn't tell, I am into fitness. Fitness whole slice of pizza into my mouth!"

"If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss"

"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs! Got this from a joke book my niece got for Christmas. Most of them were groaners but this one actually made me laugh!"

"That awkward moment when people text you first and then don't keep the conversation going."

"Why Wasn't Jesus born in Italy? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin."

"I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now i can't find him."

"It would be endearing to call Elon Musk... Musk Dear"

"Best Jocks https://www.reddit.com/r/Reddit50/comments/3p9d9z/girl_you_remind_me_of_an_alarm_clock/"