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Joke of the Day
"If you're reading this.. then you are not Floyd Mayweather."
Next Joke
"*wife and I start having an argument in a crowded restaurant* *she storms out upset* *I follow* Outside: ""DINE AND DASH SUCCESS!"" *high 5*"
"What if 85% of Homeless veterans are 2LTs lost on a land navigation course?"
"What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. http://imgur.com/kG9MROJ"
"Repeat after me: It doesn't matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won't solve it."
"I have a new doctor. He wanted to check my prostate and I told him that I don't do that on the first appointment."
"Knock knock Help"
"I was at the beach and the lifeguard blew his whistle at me. Dude, I'm 40. I'm not listening to a teenager in a bathing suit."
"Child twister: ""I can't tear up that farmhouse, Dad"" Dad twister: ""Come on son we're Kansas tornadoes, not Kan'tsas tornadoesn'ts"""
"""When fat people finish eating their Popsicles, let's punish them with the taste of death."" --the creator of the wooden Popsicle stick"