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Joke of the Day

"A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the ""mid air"" beach picture :("

"How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb? One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it?!"

"Signs a Woman Likes You: 1. Eye contact 2. Twirls her hair 3. Laughs at your jokes 4. Follows you 5. Keys your car 6. Kills you"

"Man, speaking (in heavy Scottish accent) to policeman, ""But, officer, it said laddies on the door."""

"How are blind kids punished by their parents? The parents move the furniture."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"What do eagles and moles have in common? They both fly, except for the mole..."

"Is your name Summer? Coz you're HOT!"

"What's the worst thing about kidnapping and raping a young child to death in a dark alley? Getting blood all over your clown suit"

"Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder."