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Joke of the Day

"I read an article that said to cheer up as adults, we should embrace things we loved as kids. So, when I am sad I hide in the shower and try to watch the babysitter pee."

"As a member of Destiny's Child, Kelly Rowlands was one of the most famous and beautiful women in the world.. ..'s friend. From Frankie Boyle."

"Do you think Professor that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No I think she should put down the lid as a favor."

"*[At the dinner table]* ""No grandma, those aren't knitting needles. We're having Chinese food"""

"What My Girlfriend Thought, First four Dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. OK, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."

"""Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in"" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter"

"There's only one thing I hate more than outdated references and racism... ....The ""I have a Dream"" speech."

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"So i just started a coffee shop in baghdad... ...and business is BOOMING!!"

"""Instead of putting this away, I'll leave it right here for the next time I need it."" - Men"