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Joke of the Day

"The opening scene of the movie ""Saving Private Ryan"" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade."

"Today I brought a computer back from the dead. I've decided that this makes me a techromancer."

"My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you"

"Friend: Do you have a bird problem? Me: No. Friend: Why is there a scare crow in your compound. Me: Oh that? That's for people."

"What do you call an irritated nerd? A noyd."

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies ""I have testicular cancer""."

"Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat."

"How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date? Premature emasculation."

"Three elephants fell off a cliff. Two fell on land. One fell in the water. Boom-boom-chhh!"

"If guys think with their penises, what does a guy say to a girl after a date? Blow my mind."