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Joke of the Day

"Eye height that know won nose how two spell. Eye height it sew much it makes me blew. It snot fare."

"If I can't buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop."

"WTH? My neighbors say they don't like to spoon!? Even after I stopped sleeping in the nude. And introduced myself. Old people! Amirite?"

"How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert? Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu"

"Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy? In case you wake the sleeping pills!"

"I use Facebook mostly to keep in touch (without leaving the house) with people whom I do not wish the share my cell number with..."

"[meeting with boss] ""I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday."" ""I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"""

"Why is kim jong un such an asshole? he's mentally il."

"So I was all ""I'm not taking any shit from you, bitch"" and she was all ""to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1""."

"There's no ""u"" in narcissist"