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Joke of the Day

"I wonder how many people on Tumblr only watch TV shows so they can find things to make into GIFs."

"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."

"FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind"

"""I liked small butts. I was lying."" - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession"

"Two bars of chocolate are falling down the stairs... ...the first one says:""Shit I think I broke my ribs"". To which the second one replies:""So what, I fucking hit my nuts!""."

"Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because he was Trans-Chicken"

"A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum... The doctors described his condition as stable."

"I'm at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage"

"They are starting to print new Euro notes... ...on grease proof paper."

"Asked my dad if I could go to a 50 Cents concert He gave me a dollar to bring my sister with."