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Joke of the Day

"""I liked small butts. I was lying."" - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession"

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"Son: Dad can sand melt? Me putting down my glass: Don't be ridiculous of course it can't"
"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste. I'll show myself out."
"Why are black guys eyes red after sex? From the pepper spray."
"What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar? May I push your stool in?"
"Someone once told me my best features were my smile and personality If I don't have a mouth I'm fucked"
"Shouldn't all ghosts be naked?? It's not like your clothes die too..."
"If I could be any arithmetic operation, I'd be subtraction. I just want to make a difference."
"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family."
"One person's trigger warning... ...is another person's spoiler alert."