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Joke of the Day

"Asked my dad if I could go to a 50 Cents concert He gave me a dollar to bring my sister with."

"The next batch of women who get plastic surgery Will have a stamp on their paperwork that shows they made with 33% recycled Joan Rivers."

"What's the difference between your mom and 3 dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"""My girlfriend is 41 years old"" - ""My girlfriend is 41 years old."" - ""Dude, wth?! She can be your mom!!!"" - ""Yes, but she's yours"" - ._."

"What type of car explodes? A Talivan."

"What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee? Getting ready for work"

"I've banged a lot of hoes and I'm planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy."

"Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party? Because it was more Loki than he wanted."

"Relationships are all about finding someone that works opposite hours than you so you never have to see them."

"Maybe ask the judge if your sentence is in dog years or regular years and they'll prob just laugh and let you go you got tweets to write man"