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Joke of the Day

"""Say your house is burning."" ""That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one."""

"Q: How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? A: Play the piano until you find the right key."

"[Haunted House] Ghost:You've been here a week Me: I like you G:You knew what this was M: I thought I was your boo G: I say that to everyone"

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? pt 2 A boomer-WRONG!"

"<-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking"

"I want my funeral to be sad and completely serious. Then right when my coffin starts lowering into the ground the song from Tetris plays."

"I wish mirrors and pictures would get together already and agree on what I really look like."

"When I was teenage boy At first I wanted to be a gardener. Then I wanted to be a pool cleaner, afterwards a plumber. Then I stopped watching porn movies and went to college."

"What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Brothel Sprouts"

"What's the difference between you and an egg? An egg gets laid."