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Joke of the Day

"I have a doorbell chime for text messages. I just checked my door twice. I don't have a doorbell. Line up boys. This kinda genius is rare."

"When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting ""Eye of the Tiger"" just to give them motivation."

"Face tattoos are a great way to let people know that you don't owe on any student loans."

"What's your favorite pick up line? Mine is the Ford F Series."

"The most inappropriate thing to say to the queen of England, I lick your stamps all the time."

"Role playing in the bedroom was fun until my wife gave me a speeding ticket."

"What is the fear of prostitutes called? Ho-bia"

"I think my neighbor is very sick. I have now seen him putting no less than six of his arms in his garbage over the past year."

"If Google ever goes down and stays down, I'm fucked. I know four facts and they're all about elephants and I already forgot three of them."

"Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?"