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Joke of the Day

"If ever you feel unlucky you are. the world is 4.6 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as Donald Trump."

"Did you fall from the sky? Not because you look like an angel but because your face looks like you fell from a really high place ;)."

"How can I go to sleep when this movie I've seen 70 times just started?"

"First thing on my bucket list is to jump off a cliff and the rest are just tricks I'll do in the air."

"[nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone."

"America: We put the 'try' in country."

"Rorschach has some nice paintings I'm just confused why they are all pictures of my penis"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? Nevermind; it's actually a really obscure number you've probably never heard of it."

"How do you call a camel with 3 humps? With empathy, compassion, and honesty. Cancer is hard news, even for a camel."

"Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat."