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Joke of the Day

"I was hitting the random button at the top what are the chances of getting ""Ask Reddit"" 10 times in a row?"

"It took me an hour to attach my watches to each other to make a belt. It was a **waist** of time."

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? None. The minimum age for physical labour in most places is 13-15 and babies would not be allowed to use the paint"

"I love the concept of karma. It means all the people I mistreat and fuck over every day must have it coming."

"Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you'd better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise"

"What do you call 6.022 x 10^23 avocados? A guacamole."

"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters... Its shift work."

"How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"A Roman guy walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please"""

"What did Anna Freud let her underwear show? It was a Freudian slip"