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Joke of the Day

"For weeks I thought my neighbor was keeping his car under one of those car covers. As it turns out, it was just his old car's ghost."

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"DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU"
"Why don't gypsies use condoms ? They have crystal balls so they see it coming."
"Your momma's so fat... she doesn't go back for seconds, she goes back for hours."
"Why did Adele cross the road? To say Hello... From the other side"
"Did you hear it's 'National Pretzel Day' in America today? Just making sure everyone knows it's knot bread... (thankyou Simpsons)"
"New Irish sport A new sport is sweeping Ireland. Apparently everyone gathers round and watches a scruffily dressed man lazing about. It's called ""Tramp-o-leaning""."
"Rembrandt was unsurpassed in his ability to depict light and shadow in his works, until the camera came out. then he got insanely surpassed"
"""20 McNuggets for $5? That's like a quarter a nugget!"" I exclaimed, hoping that my dinner date would be impressed with my math skills."
"Roses are red, Violets are blue Gorilla shot at Cincinnati zoo"