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Joke of the Day

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" ""384 my liege"" ""Ok, round them up"" ""400 my liege"""

"What is Harry Potters favorite way to get down a hill? Walking (punchline in comments)"

"What kind of ship never sinks? A dictatorship. *sobs*"

"My boss fired me today for accidentally deleting over 1000MB of important files He told me I lost the gig..."

"Why are there 2 dragon smileys on Whatsapp? ""He winked at me, I should send him a dragon head."" ""No babe, this calls for a full dragon."""

"I take all of my relationship advice from Animal Planet."

"What the only tag a Tumblr user can't have? A small Oops looks like I pissed off the fatties"

"how many calories does hating your job burn"

"What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics? One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for."

"The US government had a shutdown."